Category Archives: Almänt

Welcome 2015

What a year!

I remember the feeling of stepping in to 2014, the year Linnea would turn 8 years old and we would travel back to China!

2014 has been so much about just that! Visiting Linnea’s Chinese family! Our Chinese family!

It warms my heart to think of our trip and time together! I am overwelmed with gratitude

  • for having such luck to have this wonderful daughter in my life.
  • to have had the possibility to get to know people around the world just because I am her mother.
  • to be able to travel back to her birth city and meet a loving and caring family.
  • to meet our good friends and see how our children grow in their friendship.
  • to meet and connect with a young woman who became so much more than an interpreter for us.

You are all in my heart forever!

Thank you for being a part of our life!

Also thank you to my mom for wanting to join us on such a long trip and for putting up with me on our daily phone calls!

And to my loving husband Hans, for loving me! For being a part of the best family in the world!

As I mentioned before 2014 consisted of planing the trip and taking off on the 4th of October. I had no idea of what would come after our return.

The longing to travel is huge, I want to meet everybody again. I want to meet friends in Scotland, I want to go back to Greece to the Proimos massionettes, I want to spend time with our Swiss friends and I dream of a round trip in the states!

But the purpose of 2015 has become clear during this last month. I haven’t had any goals that I can’t fix because of my weight. Now I have! My mental health has improves so much over the last 4,5 years, now the time has come for the fysical helath to improve.

So this year I will dedicate to Love! The love of life and loving your self without judgements! We are perfect as we are! We are love!

I wish all of you a loving year! A year of happiness and joy!

BIG HUGS from me and keep……



The final countdown

10 days to take off!

The Final Countdown is a song from the 80’s and one of my favorite songs by Europe!

Never did it cross my mind that I twice in my life would be counting down to a life changing trip to China. That my ties to China would be this strong because of a little girl named Xia Sunxue.


For 5 month we looked at this photo and finally on October 25th 2007 we met a little scared girl who missed her (foster) family so much. But also could smile!


Today she is 8 years old and has turned in to a wonderful person. She looks forward to go back to Nanning but just as me, she has many butterflies in her stomach. She has no memory of Nanning and really want to go and see the places she used to visit with her family.

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Here she is dressed as a cowgirl and as a Chines Princess with a lot of makeup!

Thoughts 96 days before take off!

For me holiday almost always is equal to gain weight so with one month holiday coming up I have been wondering how it will turn out now that I am close to my first goal. I was thinking like this:
“It would be really sad to gain weight in China……HEY!!!!!! What if I lost weight in China and came home even lighter and in better shape than I left?”
The mind is a funny thing playing games with us. Since those thoughts I feel so much more confident that I will be OK in China and after returning home.
Today I also promised my self that I will enjoy every day until departure, live every day to the fullest while counting down, but also in China, and I am so happy we have planed to have many days to digest every meeting, every sight, every sound, every smell – every thing!

Today I have this warm feeling inside, knowing that there are people on the other side of Earth caring for us, longing for our arrival. It is the feeling of gratitude for being ME, being the one that get to experience this adventure with my daughter, my husband and my mom! It is the feeling of excitement,  joy, wonder,  nervousness, butterflies in the stomach, happiness and LOVE!


7th of December

With only a few hours left of this December 7th, I felt like writing a little.

Time is an odd thing!

Today I have been living 21 years with a father and 19 with out.

19 years ago we were planning a funeral and preparing the first Christmas with out my father. It was a peaceful time, cause my father had been sick for quite a while.

5 years later, in 1998 this day, Hans and I were celebrating 6 months as an engaged couple. We were about to celebrate our first Christmas together, and our last while living in Denmark. We also had our first Christmas with a dog in the family.

I don’t feel old, but I do feel that I was very young in 1993, way to young to loose my father. In 1998 I had grown so much older. But thinking of us back in 1998 I do feel we were young too. We had so many dreams, and such little knowledge of what was waiting for us. I think the only thing I was sure of, was that we belonged together, now and forever!

Many things have happened on the way from then to now. Many changes but the constant is our love to each other. It’s our foundation and it’s solid.

I feel that the red thread from my childhood, to my youth, our marriage, us becoming parents and up til now is LOVE. I grew up with lots of love, I live in love with Hans and we pass it on to Linnea.

Now Christmas is coming up. Hans and I are celebrating our 15th Christmas together. Only 2 of 15 has been celebrated in Denmark. 12 in Sweden and now our 15th will be celebrated in China.

I have had many fantasies of how my life would turn out, but never had I thought that it could be this amazing, I just wish my father could have shared some of these happy moments with us. That he had met Hans and Linnea, that he had been here in my wonderful old home.

Well I think he keeps an eye on us from where ever he is.


Malta July 2012

Sitting on the balcony at 7 in the morning. When I came out a woman in the house across the street said good morning from her window.
We all went to bed at midnight. Linnea did very well on the flight and we landed on time. Since we only had one suitcase and it was among the first ones out we quickly went to the taxi office, prepayed and drove off.
We got a first floor room facing the streets. Only a little noise this morning. Lots of birds are singing.
Hans & Linnea are asleep. Linnea has managed to turn her self into both sheets and I wonder if she will find her way out.
Today we’ll eat hotel breakfast for the first time since China, nice.
Then we’ll take a walk in the neigborhood and do a little shopping and unpack ofcourse.
Our room has 6 sides. We are in the corner. It’s quite big, 3 beds and we have a small fridge. The beds are ok excerpt for the noise. A wooden botten that makes very much noise.
I’m hungry now and soon I’ll take a quick shower. Hans put the alarm to 8 am so soon they have to wake up.
Just now I saw the sign: China Kingdom. Maybe a Chinese restaurant just down the street. Then a big bus parked just under the balcony – noisy! The AC on the top is on and blows hot air up to me.

Out of bed after 10 hours. No wonder my back hurts. But after a hot day with a walk to the sea and back, time in the pool, another walk, a couple of hours in the room and finally dinner I crashed into bed at 10 pm. The sun is very strong so both Hans & I got burned on our shoulders and neck.
I find it a bit hard to know what to do when you only have a few hours in the morning where you won’t burn. Linnea & Hans was in the pool for more than 3 hours and he didn’t feel a thing. Linnea on the other hand wasn’t near by beeing burned. We all had sun lotion factor 30 on but little did it help.
We have AC in the room but decided not to use it. We have a ceiling fan and that is on at all time.
The hotel is good, no more or no less than expected. But the surroundings are not so exciting. Lots of big hotels cloesed down. Restaurants and shops like wise.
There are bars/pubs open and some small shops. We want to get a map so we might be able to find more restaurants since we this time don’t have a kitchen.
We have been looking on boat trips to the blue lagoon. A day trip with 4 hours in the lagoon. It looks good but I do worry for more sun burn. We talked about waiting till Tuesday next week.
So for today we have no plans so far.

Our days look alike and sometimes we can’t remember what day it is. Our days are like this:
Walk in town to get lunch
Relax in the room
Walk in town to get dinner

We have found the square in town, with more pubs (= fastfood) and a few shops. the food is a bit borrning I do miss the Greek food, but is is nice to have holiday in a warm country when the summer is raining away at home.

Linnea has improved her swimming skils enormously. She really got notiser for her efforts in the pool: 4 Italian guys applaude when she managed a long swim in the deep water, an Italian man said bravo! a Danish couple had a lot of fun watching her and an young Danish woman said we were a lovely family. Now after these few days in the pool Linnea is just doing it. Swimming with out puffs/wings, under or over water, diving and jumping in.

Tomorrow, Sunday, we’re taking a sightseeing bus around the island. We make a stop in Valetta, the capital and go to the market. Hop on again and move on, maybe hop off again.

We also plan to take a boat trip to the blue lagoon, where the water is crystal clear.


Today is an odd day… last day at my summer job and I have to say good bye to a lot of people and things. It is also the day that we got our LOA = the last paper from China saying we were allowed to adopt Linnea – 4 years have passed since that happy day!

Now we need to pack for our first trip to Copenhagen this weekend. On Saturday morning we’ll drive to my mother and we’ll have a lot to prepare for her party on Sunday.

I’ll also visit my old friend Fatima, who gave birth to a little girl in April. That I really look forward to.

On Sunday morning we’ll wake up my mother with a lot of presents and then all her friends and our family will come for brunch at 11 am.

After my mothers party it will be time to pack for Crete! That will be next week – this week focus is on my mother – the best in the world!

What now?

Well, I’m in between jobs at the moment 😉 and I have applyed for some jobs, met with a coach, I resieve emails from jobsites where I made a search profile! I also attended a meeting about starting my own business and my mind is spinning!

The thought of an own company has resulted in my own little shop on the internet where I will try to sell my handmade jewelry and small paintings. I actually have sold one painting 😉 and I’m far from done with the site. I need to take good pictures of the jewelry to show them on the site, so please have som patience with me there!

In a few minutes I will post an application for a job in Helsingborg, not about automation, but about the Internet! This is certainly a job for me! Updating homepages and writing for the internet, that’s me in a nutschell! So wish med luck!

Well our summer has been all about renovation in the kitchen and painting the house outside. The kitchen we did our selfs, but the painting was too big a job so we hired a company to do it, I must say it looks good!  They are almost done!

That leaves us with a clean up task – windows have been emptied and some need new curtains. The conservatorie has also been painted and I would like to redecorate everything there.

Well I could write so much more but I need to get ready to pick up Linnea at her kindergarden in half an hour. We’re driving to town this afternoon to visit my old school and say hallo to a friend and a teacher.

Have a nice day!


Over a period of time I have got a lot of criticism for the way I live, eat, raise and feed my daughter. All on facebook and all by one family (3 adults with 3 biological children).  As of today the friendship is over and I sit here with an odd feeling of relief and sadness.  I have know 2 of these people for 12 years or so.

I have suspected that it would end one day since our talk about infertility back in the beginning  of 2007. Hans and I had our papers in China, and I was “pregnant” (adoption language) with our Chinese child.

Our friends asked if there were any chance for us to have a biological child, and we said no. Then he said: “But if you did, miracles happens, the you could say Fuck You! to the Chinese!”

And I answered: “NO! I would be very sad if I became pregnant now! I would mourn my Chinese child I never would have!”

He didn’t understand that and I said: “Then you value bio-children higher than adopted children!” and he answered: “Yes I do!”

That day I promised my self that if anything from him or his family showed me that they had something against my child I would end the friendship.

When we finally knew who we had been waiting for for so many years, they didn’t bother to comment on my power point show I mailed to our friends and family. When we finally talked on the phone and I said that Hans was going to be a father he asked if I was pregnant? So I asked if he hadn’t seen the power point? And his comment was – “ohh Yes she’s sweet.”

Now Linnea is here and is our daughter, and this family keeps coming back with negative comments on my behavior with words about that it’s bad for Linnea. They have been rude, coming with small hints like “if I had had a baby…… I would know” etc. Always Linnea is mentioned Enough is enough.

I don’t need them in my life and wouldn’t call it friendship. And I surely don’t want Linnea to grow up around such people.

I probably should have ended it long ago, but I thought that meeting our daughter and seeing us with her would change them, but no and now I give up on them. May they live happy in their world!

I will cherish my real friends so much more. I have met so many wonderful people all over the world and I will keep you in my heart!