Category Archives: Mettes corner

Thoughts on a Thursday

Today I have had many thoughts about my job situation and what I should do in the future. I won’t say I have been in a bad mood but not it a good mood either.

In the mail today there was a book I ordered. It’s about families with adoptive children or adults who was adopted as children who travels back to their birth countries and towns.

One family travels to China, Guangxi and to places we are going to visit in October. I look at the pictures in the book and on the internet from Guangxi. I have a hard time understanding that WE are to see all this: High tech modern cities with skyscrapers and huge malls, poor families in the country side, abandoned children (who hopefully will get their own forever family one day) and the breathtaking beauty of the nature! Such big contrasts!

Suddenly it becomes impossible to feel bad or sad. Instead I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to go on this adventure with my family!


Nanning by night


A girl from the Guangxi girls program by Hope 4 China’s Children


Guangxi mountains.

What now?

Well, I’m in between jobs at the moment 😉 and I have applyed for some jobs, met with a coach, I resieve emails from jobsites where I made a search profile! I also attended a meeting about starting my own business and my mind is spinning!

The thought of an own company has resulted in my own little shop on the internet where I will try to sell my handmade jewelry and small paintings. I actually have sold one painting 😉 and I’m far from done with the site. I need to take good pictures of the jewelry to show them on the site, so please have som patience with me there!

In a few minutes I will post an application for a job in Helsingborg, not about automation, but about the Internet! This is certainly a job for me! Updating homepages and writing for the internet, that’s me in a nutschell! So wish med luck!

Well our summer has been all about renovation in the kitchen and painting the house outside. The kitchen we did our selfs, but the painting was too big a job so we hired a company to do it, I must say it looks good!  They are almost done!

That leaves us with a clean up task – windows have been emptied and some need new curtains. The conservatorie has also been painted and I would like to redecorate everything there.

Well I could write so much more but I need to get ready to pick up Linnea at her kindergarden in half an hour. We’re driving to town this afternoon to visit my old school and say hallo to a friend and a teacher.

Have a nice day!


Over a period of time I have got a lot of criticism for the way I live, eat, raise and feed my daughter. All on facebook and all by one family (3 adults with 3 biological children).  As of today the friendship is over and I sit here with an odd feeling of relief and sadness.  I have know 2 of these people for 12 years or so.

I have suspected that it would end one day since our talk about infertility back in the beginning  of 2007. Hans and I had our papers in China, and I was “pregnant” (adoption language) with our Chinese child.

Our friends asked if there were any chance for us to have a biological child, and we said no. Then he said: “But if you did, miracles happens, the you could say Fuck You! to the Chinese!”

And I answered: “NO! I would be very sad if I became pregnant now! I would mourn my Chinese child I never would have!”

He didn’t understand that and I said: “Then you value bio-children higher than adopted children!” and he answered: “Yes I do!”

That day I promised my self that if anything from him or his family showed me that they had something against my child I would end the friendship.

When we finally knew who we had been waiting for for so many years, they didn’t bother to comment on my power point show I mailed to our friends and family. When we finally talked on the phone and I said that Hans was going to be a father he asked if I was pregnant? So I asked if he hadn’t seen the power point? And his comment was – “ohh Yes she’s sweet.”

Now Linnea is here and is our daughter, and this family keeps coming back with negative comments on my behavior with words about that it’s bad for Linnea. They have been rude, coming with small hints like “if I had had a baby…… I would know” etc. Always Linnea is mentioned Enough is enough.

I don’t need them in my life and wouldn’t call it friendship. And I surely don’t want Linnea to grow up around such people.

I probably should have ended it long ago, but I thought that meeting our daughter and seeing us with her would change them, but no and now I give up on them. May they live happy in their world!

I will cherish my real friends so much more. I have met so many wonderful people all over the world and I will keep you in my heart!



Remembering the days when it was just you and me
Remembering when you without a doubt accepted the man of my life, like you knew he was the one
Remembering how you slowly accepted Valde as a member of our family
Remembering you moving to Sweden – Getting so brave and protected you home.
Remembering you making an exception by accepting a child, Linnea, in our family
Remembering you missing Valde when he did not come home
Remembering you, Ofelia, my friend
Always and forever


Ofelia our cat: 1993-09-24 — 2010-04-26


My heart is still crying!


Happy sunshine!!
Sad sad rain!
Numb fog!
Dark lonely nights
Bright smiley days
Cold freezing wind
Pendling temperature
You were on my mind

I will always remember
Never forget
No matter how cold
No matter how sad
You made me happy
You made me glad
Till we meet again:
Thank you for being my friend!


Now I know

Almost 2 weeks ago I bought some mandarins and I ate one after a long time with out fruit (carbonhydrates) – but I couldn’t stop with just one! Had to eat more of them. I could stop tomorrow I thought! When we were out of mandarins I ate some potatoes and some bread and what happens to me?

Now I know! I get so damed sleepy! My bloodsugar raises sky high and then drops to the lowest of low! And I fall asleep – infront of the TV or the computer – no problem! I loose my focus – food gets on my mind but I have a hard time on finding out what to eat to dinner!

So what did I learn from this: I react to carbonhydrates if I get them every day that will say more than my 400g of vegstables a day.

Today I had to lie down for half an hour, fell asleep direct and now I get angry with my self: I actually knew that carbonhydrates has that effect on me so WHY did I do it????

I know the answer to that too: I’m an addict! I got a disease and I got to be on my guard not to act on it! And it is sad that I can’t be a normal person that can eat what ever I want!

It is very easy for me to recognize when I start to overeat, but the hard part is to recognize that I’m beeing taken over by the food again! The need to sleep again just after 4 hours awake made me realize that fact!

I don’t want to be a slave to food, I want to be ME! And I wont give up fighting for my life as a healthy person! NEVER GIVE UP my father tought me! Now it’s time to listen to my body and stop this madness!

One of my goals is to be nicely dressed when I graduate the 28th of May 2010 – and yesterday I found a jacket I would love to wear that day.  I will think of this jacket everytime I think of food – knowing that I will not be able to wear it if I eat carbonhydrates!



Finally I feel proud again! Proud of being me! You may wonder what I’m talking about! So let me explain:

My over weight has always made me feel small, made me want to hide. My jobs in customer service is a job many people can do with out any education! When I had a job as web assistant I finaly could do things not every one could, but my coworkers didn’t belive it and in the end neather did I.

I started on my education, and my head had to work again. We had mathematics and it was fun! I did good! But still it was hard to learn so much new!

Now I’ve been sugarfree as I like to call it! I haven’t eaten sugar (carbonhydrates) for 79 days! And what a different it makes!

I can feel my self again, I recognize ME the ME I once was! I found a person who is glad, hard working, and most of all I’m doing good in school!

So I’m very proud! Proud of who I am! Proud of the good results in school! Proud of being sugarfree! I feels so good to be back!!

When Life gets scarry!

To day I realised that an old friend of mine lost her boyfriend whom she had lived with for more than 10 years! They have 3 children, a 2 year old and twins age 1!

He felt sick and went to the doctors but something went wrong and he died! 38 years old! That’s when life gets scarry!

Ever since Linnea came to us I’ve been thinking more about LIFE – I want so badly to live with her – to be here for her! And I want Hans to be a part of it too. I can’t imagine my life with out them – NEVER EVER! That’s too scary a thought to think!

Maybe that’s why I think so much of my obesity – at least 40-45 kg!

If  life was unfair to me – when my father died I was 21 – I would say it’s so much more unfair to these 3 little children loosing their father and a young woman her man!!

I wish all the best for my friend and her children – And I wish it wont happen to any other family on earth!

Some people come into our lives and quickly go,
others stay for a while an leave footprints on our hearts
and we are never the same

(By unknown to me)

This is fun!

I just love to make new friends all over the world, but the best is to meet them!

And that is what’s going to happen! In May Doris, Oleg & Little Elin will come to Copenhagen and they will bring Alexandra, Olegs mother who I last met in Gomel, Belarus in 1993!!!! It is 4 years since we met with Oleg & Doris (pregnant with Elin) here in our home. Unfortunately haven’t we been in Switzerland since 2002! I really look forward to meet them and for the first time our children and mothers too!

In June we have a visit from “down under” – Australia! David & Sharon will come here!!!! I’m not sure when we last met in Copenhagen but it was before Hans (11 years!)  They will bring the children Alex & Nik with them for the first time. Davids father emigrated from Denmark to Australia. He and my father were friends!
The first time David and I met we were children and I couldn’t speak English…. I really look forward to welcome them in our home!

In July our new friends from The Netherlands (Holland) will visit Sweden and us! They have 2 Chinese children. Jet and I met on a Yahoo group for families with children from Nanning! This is just so fantastic! I can’t say how much I like this meeting new people from all over the world!

I have also been in contact with a French family with a Chinese girl and ofcourse the Wagner family in the states, our Chinese family in Nanning and Grand ma Brenda in Scotland!! When I dream about winning loads of money (gamling? – which we never do) I dream of traveling around the world to meet you all! I want Linnea to be a citizen of the world! (but never move away from her mother!!!!)

Utbildningen / The education

Jag är nöjd med mina betyg (karaktere)…… jag fick nyss den sista!

För mina läsare i DK måste jag nog förklara lite om betygen:

Vi har bara 3 stycken:

  • IG = Inte Godkännt
  • G = Godkännt
  • VG = Väl godkännt

Sedan får man poäng när man gör en tenta (ekame), man måste nå en viss gräns för att få de olika betygen.

Vi måste ha G för att bestå ämnet.


Mattematik: 2 tentor begge gav VG då får jag ett samlat beryg med VG

Ekonomi: Tenta och projektarbeta. Min tenta gav 56 poäng (55 var gräsen för VG) och projektarbetet som jag gjorde med en klasskompis var bra så samlat betyg blev VG

PLC grund: Två uppgifter, klarade man en = G och begga = VG. Jag fick G

Elprocad (Ritprogram/tegneprogram): 2 uppgifter även här. Jag klarade av 1 och fick G

Ellära (1/3 av ämnet elteknik): 2 tentor, G på båda. Total poäng 52. VG börjar vid 60. Nästa år ska jag har en annan lärare i dom 2/3 som är kvar. Sedan sätter dom 2 lärarna ett gemensamt samlat betyg. Då jag liggarså nära VG gränsen kan jag få VG om jag gör bra ifrån mig nästa år!

I am very satisfied with my grades…… I’ve just got the last one…..

For my readers abroard, I have to explain a little about the grades system here:

We have only 3 grades

  • IG = Not approved
  • G = Approved
  • VG = Well (done) approved

Then we get points at an exam, we must reach a certain limit to get the various grades.

We must have the G to get approved.

So ….

Arithmetic: 2 exams both gave VG Then I get a total of VG

Economy: Exam and project work. My exam gave 56 points (55 is limit for VG) and project work as I did with classmates was good so my overall grade was VG

PLC basis: Two tasks, done one = G and both = VG. I got G

Elprocad (Drawing programm): 2 tasks here also. I passed one and received G

Electricity (1/3 of the course electrical engineering): 2 exams, G on both. Total score 52. VG starts at 60. Next year, I have another teacher of the 2/3 that is left.
Then the 2 teachers together make a single rating. Then I’m close to the limit for VG, VG is possible if I do good me next year!